Retard-O-Tron Video Mixtape #1 (VO)

Entonces, ¿qué es Retard-O-Tron # 1? ¡Aquí está la propaganda!

«Agárrate a tus genitales y golpea la cabeza contra la pantalla», porque VIDEO RETARD-O-TRON MIXTAPE está aquí para tomar tu alma. Derretimiento mental  en una compilación con los 90 minutos de los más locos, increíbles, incómodos,pringosos, hilarantes, dolorosos e impactantes que NUNCA se haya registrado en cinta en la historia
de la humanidad.

Haga una inmersión profunda en el fondo de la cloaca de las B-movies de los 60s y 70s sleaze, videos de skate, mala televisión, cintas caseras, documentales, Jackass-wannabes, restos de la moto, televisión japonesa, bloopers, porno extraño, peleas callejeras, malos videos musicales, presentadores de televisión jodidos y comerciales insanos

RETARD-0-TRON VIDEO MIXTAPE – Chapter Selection

ZXQL3000 in co-operation with Cinema Sewer presents retard-o-tron video mixtape (montage).

O1 WELL, LET’S GO
1. MY JAPAN b&w footage: «You do not know the Japanese.»
2. Asian girl walks city streets with excrement on her face .
3. TV variety show: Performers sing «there’s no place like home» (www.plsthxx.com).
4. Bicyclists with videocamera verbally abuse Miami building security team.
5. Automobile tows tethered skateboarder into boxes in a parking lot.
6. Graffiti artists spray paint a building.
7. ABC failed TV pilot: Steel Justice (toy-robot dragon).
8. Woman sucks toes of bald male.
9. Chien andalou (1929): Eye-slicing sequence.
10. Smoking penis visual joke.
11. JERSEY CONNECTION: Male falls from cola-dispensing machine to pavement.
12. Montage: Motorcycle/bicycle spills, ending with male setting his own hair on fire.
13. Naked male ejaculates on supine female’s face, receive verbal abuse from offscreen.

O2 LEMMY TELL YOU
1. Rock musician Lemmy (of Motorhead) talks about hermaphrodites.
2. Montage: Go-cart spills.
3. Reverse-motion shot of a bowel movement.
4. Costumed film actors fighting in kung-fu style.
5. Male smokes from drug bong set in female’s anus.
6. Japanese TV: Hot coal rolled down transparent tube in man’s mouth; pain response.
7. ABC failed TV pilot: Mighty Thor (Norse god fights crime).
8. Two young males jump off a roof.
9. Bicycle rider in park.
10. Japanese female masturbates male to orgasm in pixilated genitals scene.
11. Males street fighting.
12. Car explodes.
13. Youth lights contents of bowl in street, is covered in flame (www.streetproject.com).
14. Promo for Swedish TV show about «ghost rider» motorcyclist.

03 WARNING: PORNOSLUT
1. Warning card: «Most violent feature.»
2. Japanese children’s TV show: Performers in creature costumes.
3. Anaglyph 3D footage: «I’m high on pot.»
4. Boat falls on the highway from the roof of a moving car.
5. Japanese masked super heroine bares breasts.
6. French Little Red Riding Hood prepares to fellate supine male in wolf costume.
7. Quiz-kid TV show: Young man answers «orgasm» instead of «organism.»
8. Asian male’s head, caught in exercise-machine belt, is forced against large female’s bottom.
9. Crowd scene: Crouching female provides oral sex to standing female.
10. Asian male falls off bicycle, suffers obvious crotch pain.
11. Animation: «Late Night Bar» features yellow bird visiting the music cemetery.
12. MTV logo on montage of explicit scenes, including fellatio, urination, toe-sucking, cream-pies to female faces, puppet fellatio, midget sex, dive into toilet.

04 SIXTEEN MEGABYTES!
1. ABC failed TV pilot: The Ultimate Impostor.
2. Japanese TV ad: for something called AD (a pain reliever?)
3. Music video: Features football-headed cartoon character.
4. Bare-breasted woman works in car wash.
5. Animation: In the Jay (Rocky & Bullwinkle) North style.
6. Japanese music video: Children sing «A-Kee» (three explicit inserts).
7. Face-painted WWF male screaming.
8. Japanese actors in robot costumes in ray-gun fight.
9. Female fellates supine male, then vomits on him.
10. Fox News item on grape-crushing contest; female reporter falls, is in obvious pain.
11. Automobile hot-dogs in parking lot.
12. VD ad: Confusing as to subject matter until final title card.
13. Male jumps on top of passenger rail car (European?)
14. Asian woman projectile vomits in man’s face (horror film clip).
15. COMMERCIAL BREAK / Crazy Dave Tape 2 (2005?) explicit stills and scenes.

05 EXTRA SPICEY SPACE PUKE
1. Japanese spacegirl forces second girl to vomit, catches the stream in her mouth.
2. Zit on man’s neck is squeezed.
3. ABC failed TV pilot: Samurai (sword-wielding crime-fighter)
4. Woman has bowel movement in street.
5. Monster a-Go Go (1965): b&w trailer.
6. Bicycle stunt montage (no falls).
7. EELT VERWIJDEREN: Growths sliced off a foot, cooked in microwave (TV ad?)
8. Black couple scream at one another, jump cut to fellatio.
9. OOGA-CHAKKA music video: Ends with insert of woman expelling liquid from anus.
10. Period nudie-cutie: Benny Hill-like male directs exercise class for topless women.
11. Title card: Web addresses for video mixtape producers Roelewapper, Cinema Sewer.

06 UND HURE!
1. EXCELSIOR: German-language trailer for film about Roman Empress Messaline.
2. SUSAN RUSCHE: Documentary demonstrating recreational-drug-delivery devices.
3. Montage: Motorcycle/bicycle spills.
4. Japanese TV game show: Woman’s head in large plastic air bag.
5. Graffiti artists at work on a subway train.
6. Motorcycle spill.
7. German toilet cleaner leaves excrement on light switch.
8. Stan Bush: «The Torch» music video advertising Transformers: The Movie (1986)
9. German woman bares large breasts in bus.
10. Pillsbury cupcake ad altered to show animated Doughboy pooping.
11. GHETTO BRAWLS: Reality video clip of street fighters.
12. ABC failed TV pilot: Nick Derringer, P.I. (midget detective).
13. The Brain Eaters (1958): b&w trailer.
14. Hypnotrick.com: Make your own mixtape announcement.

07 PEEPOL
1. Midget singer: «Why do pee-pol have to fight?»
2. Women street-fighters reality video.
3. Man climbs up side of building.
4. Car, parade float, bus driven off a pier into harbour.
5. Motage: Car, motorcycle spills from demolition derbies.
6. Shopping mall, public-park daredevils home video.
7. Japanese TV: Young women bend over to show absence of underwear.
8. Males dance together in club setting.
9. Male in dinner jacket plays xylophone with his penis.
10. Deadly Weapons (1974): Chesty Morgan smothers a one-eyed man with her breasts.
11. SHOUT OUTS : List of names (?)

08 SEXY SNOWMEN & THE END BIT
1. U.K. TV shopping network: Christmas snowmen dolls malfunction in rude manner.
2. Montage: Motorcycle spills.
3. «Catfight club» scene: Women wrestle topless (film clip?).
4. tourettesGUY.com: Elderly man uses profanity.
5. Japanese female (a TV news reader?), speaks with semen on her face; receives additional coating from digitally-pixilated penis.
6. Bumfights: Reality video.
7. Shopping network: Pitchman cuts self on sale-item samurai sword.
8. Jungle brother home video: Flaming skateboarding.
9. PWNED!: Youth takes a fall by an empty swimming pool.
10. Another word for pirate treasure — BOOTY. (Black female’s large bottom).
11. Alphabet song: b&w footage.
12, Spongebob Hemppants: Animated pirate-song satire.
13. Bicycle spill, youth rises with a bloodied face.
14. Animation: Rude «Welcome to the Movies» trailer.
15. INAX Japanese TV ad for toilets.
16. Kiss Me Quick! (1964): Trailer for nudie-cutie horror comedy feature.
17. End credits – montage,